"What Number Is This"

I’ve never been an especially gracious loser, especially when it comes to girlfriends. This is a rather nasty little song which reflects that pattern. I recorded it many years ago on one of my early attempts at multi-tracking. I’ve lost many of my first recordings, sometimes deliberately, but now I wish I had them back. I regret having so many regrets. 

What Number Is This

© 1985 Brian Hutzell

I always trusted you

Never thought you could be so cruel

I believed your little stories were true

Like telling fairy tales to a fool

But I am wiser

And the things that I have learned

Are churning up the water

You’re on the stake and you’re ready to burn

Tell me, now that I know

How long’s this been going on

How often have I been led along

What number is this

How many secrets have you kept from me

What number is this

How many stories can you tell

What number is this

How many lovers have you slept beside

The joke’s on me

Because I thought I knew you well

You said you loved me

Said you’d like to share your life with me

I thought you'd be perfect company

I was mistaken, it’s plain to see

But now I know’

I was just another game for you

Just a chance for you to prove

To yourself you’ve still got the moves

Tell me, now that I know

How long’s this been going on

How often have I been led along

What number is this

How many secrets have you kept from me

What number is this

How many stories can you tell

What number is this

How many lovers have you slept beside

The joke’s on me

Because I thought I knew you well

You played with emotions that weren’t your own

Things that should be left alone

Now it’s time to come home

You were found lying on your bed

With a bullet in your head

And the note beside you said:

This time the prey you picked

Was stronger than yourself

I won’t be a trophy on your shelf

What number is this

How many secrets have you kept from me

What number is this

How many stories can you tell

What number is this

How many lovers have you slept beside

The joke’s on you

Because I knew you too well

"BC-15"

Brian Hutzell