"Bitter Young Man"

“You once called me a warped, frustrated, old man! What are you but a warped, frustrated young man?” – Old Man Potter (“It’s a Wonderful Life”)

Angry songs are fun to write. I really enjoyed spewing out the venom in this one. I hope no one takes it too seriously.

Bitter Young Man

© 1994 Brian Hutzell

From the moment I awake at some ungodly hour of day

I bitch and moan if things don't go my way

I stumble out of bed, smack the doorframe with my head

Scrape a blade across my face till I'm beet red

My kitchen is so small, there's hardly any room at all

For myself, my breakfast and the things that crawl

My cereal gets soggy and the toast is always burnt

The coffee splashes on my wrinkled shirt

I commute to a job I hate on a train that's loud and late

On the telephone I'm always rude, as befits my sucky attitude

I'm a bitter young man

And I hope to someday graduate to the title of mean old fart

I'm a bitter young man

And I hope to someday graduate to the title of mean old fart

I have pet peeves by the score, and I'm always adding more

They form a carpeting of bile upon my floor

It's hard not to hate everyone who makes me wait

Who allows these cretinous jerks to procreate?

Perhaps I should be more selective when I aim my righteous invective

Shouldn't waste it on a brain like a sieve

Dealing with a mental runt, my instrument should be more blunt

If there's to be any fairness in the hunt

Someone somewhere owes me heaps for dealing with these creeps

Got my ass to the grindstone and my nose to the dirt

Why won't anybody pay me what I'm worth?

I'm a bitter young man

And I hope to someday graduate to the title of mean old fart

I'm a bitter young man

And I hope to someday graduate to the title of mean old fart

New kids, screw kids

What did you do, kids, to make them look at you, kids?

Can I do it too?

Another cynic you won't find who can stand my state of mind

I think Oscar the Grouch is far too kind

And The Grinch--he was a sap for falling for that Christmas crap

His tune to me is as tiresome as rap!

I'm a bitter young man

And I hope to someday graduate to the title of mean old fart

I'm a bitter young man

And I hope to someday graduate to the title of mean old fart