"Knight of the Rueful Figure"

I’ve never been great at writing comedy songs, but that hasn’t stopped me from timing. I may not have gotten it right until “A Lucky Poop,” just last year, but I’ll save that one for another blog post. Meanwhile, this one is inspired by two of my favorite books. Most obviously, it’s a tribute to Don Quixote. Also, the idea of using the book itself as a weapon was inspired by a scene in A Confederacy of Dunces, in which a copy of The Consolation of Philosophy is likewise used as a weapon of self-defense.

Current listening: The Beatles, Revolver

Knight of the Rueful Figure

© Brian Hutzell 1987

I don't know what day it was when the thought occurred to me

There was evil and violence

Help was needed desperately

At the time I was alone and unemployed

So I stepped into the void

I began a mission of knight-errantry

I could hear them calling me:

Knight of the Rueful Figure, will you rescue me?

Knight of the Rueful Figure, do you know where I am?

Knight of the Rueful Figure, will you rescue me?

Knight of the Imagination, not like any other man

Bravely walking down darkened streets where I knew the monsters hid

Some enchantment had blinded me

I saw nothing that I did

So I slipped and fell and fractured several bones

Somehow safely struggled home

Still, my passion grew although I was impaired

I pursued it from my chair

Knight of the Rueful Figure, will you rescue me?

Knight of the Rueful Figure, do you know where I am?

Knight of the Rueful Figure, will you rescue me?

Knight of the Imagination, not like any other man

You would think an armchair a safe place to be

What could be a safer sport than reading?

So I was dismayed and my fury was kindled

When that night my house was burgled

Though injured I was able to slip into my armor

I twisted my ankle and stumbled with a clamor

Knight of the Rueful Figure, can you rescue yourself?

Knight of the Rueful Figure, here's to your health!

The bandit was approaching

I thought I was doomed

How embarrassing to be not in a castle but my room

I tried to kick him, but I missed (fortunately)

I hit the bookshelf instead

My special edition hardbound copy of Don Quixote

Came crashing down on his head

Knight of the Rueful Figure, will you rescue me?

Knight of the Rueful Figure, do you know where I am?

Knight of the Rueful Figure, will you rescue me?

Knight of the Imagination, not like any other man

"Green Knight"

Brian Hutzell