"The Ballad of the Picnic of Captain Hook and Captain Cook and the Odd Thing That Happened There"

When I lived in Medford, my roommate, Bob, and I put a hotdog on a hook. We also nailed a piece of bread to the wall, and thumbtacked up a piece of bologna, which remained stuck to the wall even after the thumbtack was removed. We once had a small bonfire on the kitchen table. We staged food fights involving yogurt, baked beans, and molasses, among other things. Lots of friends, relatives, bandmates, and lovers came and went at that house. Great music was made. Terrible music was also made. There were parties and there were fights. It was not a dull place. Life was lived.

For the past ten years, my life has been pretty placid. I’ve poured most of my musical energy into solo piano/vocal gigs at retirement homes, performing The Great American Songbook (Kern, Gershwin, Berlin, Porter, etc.) As a visual artist, my work has been purely in the digital realm. I’ve done a lot of reading, and frequently sported a nice suntan. Life has not so much been lived, but rather barely tolerated. I have existed.

Hitomi and I have been married for 17 years, and they have been fine. We love each other, and rarely quarrel. When we do, it’s over something silly like the color of our olives or the length of our pasta. Excitement and passion have been somewhat lacking lately, though. We would both like to change that, but we’re both a little afraid to try anything too bold. We are timid, and we hold back. I think we need a hotdog on a hook.

The Ballad of the Picnic of Captain Hook and Captain Cook and the Odd Thing That Happened There

© 2015 Brian Hutzell

Captain Hook and Captain Cook

To the campfire a picnic took

Brought the pork

But forgot the fork

So they had hotdog on a hook!