“Xenophobia” with commentary

“Xenophobia” on YouTube

The most unfortunate aspect of my song collections Optimistic Assumptions, and Anything Grows is the song titles, which have nothing at all to with the music. In some cases, the titles are wildly inappropriate, and in one case, I had to change the title completely because it was just too unacceptable. Just as the title “Xenophobia” has nothing to do with its own music, this picture has nothing to do with either one. This is from Part 2 of my MMXIII Variations project, in which I kept using one set of pictures as the basis for the next set. You can detect “Can we play here?” as the basis for this iteration.

“Page 4”

Brian Hutzell

From Ages of Pages

Part 2 of MMXIII Variations

"See Nothing"

There is also a “See Nothing III,” which is strictly instrumental. All three appear on my 1986 tape, Reruns. The original “See Nothing” grew out of another short instrumental called “Something Cool.” I wrote a lot of those early instrumental ditties while watching MTV, to which I was totally addicted when it first came on the air.

Current reading: Robert Middlekauf, The Glorious Cause: The American Revolution,1763-1789

See Nothing I

© Brian Hutzell 1985

See nothing

What is there to see?

Do you see anything worth watching?

The TV shows are dull

And the theaters are full

Of motion pictures void of any sense

The time it takes to open

My eyes to see who's spoken

Could very well, I'm sure, be better spent

See Nothing II

© Brian Hutzell 1985

See nothing

The screen is blank

See nothing

See nothing

“December Blues 3”

Brian Hutzell

from MMXIII Variations

"Shoot Me" (1986)

This is a re-written and poppified version of a song originally written in 1985. The picture is of Jeremiah Sullivan and I in the studio.

Shoot Me (1986)

© 1986 Brian Hutzell

Love you? Of course I do!

Leave you? How can I?

I've been living with you so long I'd be lost on my own

But I think I'd be better off alone

Two hunters in the wood, chasing and killing

Never turn the guns around to point at each other

How can hate be so unemployed?

Shoot me

Do something

To make it easy to leave you

I don't want to

But I've got to

And I won't unless I find a reason

We had some perfect dates but those are over

Lately all we do is fight so frequently it's not right

But something keeps me glued to your side

Pop guns in grade school, later on B.B.'s

After graduation, big game's challenge, stimulation

Is it sport for fun or one-on-one?

Shoot me

Do something

To make it easy to leave you

I don't want to

But I've got to

And I won't unless I find a reason

Bang! The shot...

Wait for the shot

Wait for the shot

No one got hurt yet

No violence

Cause you love me, hate me, shoot me

Make war then make up

Make peace, make love

Some unspoken treaty keeps the fire a chilly cold war

Fire melts the ice

Could be an avalanche

Two hunters in the dark, preying and praying

Never take the game away

The thrill of each and every fray

To pass the test

To love a game of chance

Shoot me

Do something

To make it easy to leave you

I don't want to

But I've got to

And I won't unless I find a reason

“Boys keep singing!”

Brian Hutzell

from Square Feet

"Show Me How You Feel"

I met Wally at Berklee. We walked all over Boston together, and I thought his name was Lyle for several days. It’s not.

“Show Me How You Feel” on YouTube

Show Me How You Feel

© 1989 Brian Hutzell and Wally Koekebakker

Oh, I've been wanting to know you inside and out
Can you hear me shout over the crowd?
Oh, I've been needing to know someone to lean upon
Build a love so strong it can't go wrong
I need you around and I need your love to surround me

Oh, if it's alright
You've got to let me know
Show me how you feel
If it's alright
Don't let it get away
Show me how you feel

Oh, I've been meaning to find you somewhere, somehow
I finally found you and I'm mighty proud
Oh, I've been wanting to buy you diamonds and rings
Fine fancy things
I have none of these
Yet you keep calling me back again
Even though I lack the pennies to get you any trinkets
Do you think it's the love you've waited for?
'Cause I need you around me
And I need your love to surround me

Oh, if it's alright
You've got to let me know
Show me how you feel
If it's alright
Don't let it get away
Show me how you feel

Paint it on the ceiling
So when I look up overhead, I'll remember what I said
I said, "Show me how you feel," and there it is
Michelangelo did it long ago
But feelings fade like peeling paint
If not restored from time to time
So I'm telling you that I'm

Sure that it's alright
'Cause now that you've let me know
Shown me how you feel
It's alright
We'll never let it slip away
You showed me love is real
And time will never steal the feeling

“Dischordant beauty”

Brian Hutzell

from Square Feet

"Shy"

I’ve been reading a lot of history lately. Currently, I am halfway through Robert Middlekauf’s The Glorious Cause: The American Revolution, 1763-1789, which is part of The Oxford History of the United States. I also have the next three books in the series which will take me up through the Civil War. In addition to my history reading, I am taking a history class online through Upper Iowa University. I’ve decide that online education is not for me. I tend to be too much of a hermit in the best of times, and this online schooling is tying me even more to my apartment and my computer. The virtual world is nice for shy people in some ways, but in other ways t merely encourages further disassociation with the outside world.

Current listening: The Lounge Lizards, s/t

Shy

© 1988 Vin Colella and Brian Hutzell

Too shy, my heart's alone

Too shy to try again

I hide behind the love I've known

Now I'm too shy.  Remember…

When I was invincible and daring

Life was like a roller-coaster then

The love was new, alike the time we were sharing

The ride stopped, the lights went down; we started to pretend

Too shy, my heart's alone

Too shy to try again

I hide behind the love I've known

Now I'm too shy, but there's still hope

'Cause I know there's someone who will look me in the eye

So I can say how I feel, but I'm so shy

The wish in in my sight; my body quivers

I raise the bow but can't release the arrow

Though it isn't cold, I still shiver

I stand behind the open doors, but they might as well be closed

Too shy, my heart's alone

Too shy to try again

I hide behind the love I've known

Now I'm too shy, but there's still hope

'Cause I know there's someone who will look me in the eye

So I can say how I feel, but I'm so shy

Too shy, my heart's alone

Too shy to try again

I hide behind the love I've known

Now I'm too shy, but there's still hope

“December Blues 2”

Brian Hutzell

from MMXIII Variations

"Storm"

I wanted to write a one-chord song for Plastic Mikey, and this is the result.

“Storm” rough demo on MelodyFusion

Current listening: The Partridge Family, Notebook

Storm

© 1995 Brian Hutzell

The sun did not shine

It was too wet to play

Outside the storm raged away

Inside my humor turned gray

Crash-landing my new model plane

In the turbulence brought on by rain

This is not a good game

Weather, weather the storm

Weather, weather the storm

This is the calm before the storm

Pressed underneath its heaving scorn

On the surface it looks comfortable and warm

But the blanket of security’s been torn

Didn’t hear the thunder

Didn't see the lightening

Didn’t feel the electronic web around us tightening

But I caught the anger

In the aimless violence

Read the writing on the wall in the sullen silence

Weather, weather the storm

Weather, weather the storm

This is the calm before the storm

The room where history is born

Cut through and through with flashing sword

Leaving the lessons unexplored

Didn’t hear the bullets

That fell like raindrops

Didn't feel the hail that hit my head like hurricane shots

Weather, weather the storm

Weather, weather the storm

This is the calm before the storm

The stage is set for us to perform

We'd better act before it pours

“Honey, Mars is melting!”

Brian Hutzell

from MMXIII Variations, Part 1: Square Feet

"Dark Dank Cells"

I wrote a lot of the Plastic Mikey lyrics while on a visit with my parents to Grandma and Grandpa Barta’s home in Waterloo, IA. All of my grandparents are gone now, but I was fortunate to know them all well, whereas I had friends in school who had only known one or two or none of their grandparents. I even met three of my great-grandparents, though I only remember one of them, the inimitable Great-Grandma Douglass. I’m sorry none of them got to see me successful. So far, no one has seen me successful, but I’m working on it!

Dark Dank Cells

© 1994 Kevin Dempsey and Brian Hutzell

I've done nothing wrong; I've done plenty wrong

Believing I was weak, pretending I was strong

Listening to you, thinking it was true

Trying to ignore what I already knew

That's when I fell into my dark dank cell

I let you make the rules, and followed them like a fool

You broke them then you took me by the hand and led me to

A prison that I built with misdirected guilt

Any jury would agree that I'm innocent, but still…

Here I dwell in my dark dank cell

I'm willing to share

It's only fair

My dark dank cell

I hope you accept

'Cause it's time you slept

In my dark dank cell

I'm going to rebel in my dark dank cell

Escape from hell--this dark dank cell

Let me tell you of my dark dank cell

Can you smell my dark dank cell?

"MIP19-Striped Shirt"

Brian Hutzell

from "MMXIII Variations"