"Shy"

I’ve been reading a lot of history lately. Currently, I am halfway through Robert Middlekauf’s The Glorious Cause: The American Revolution, 1763-1789, which is part of The Oxford History of the United States. I also have the next three books in the series which will take me up through the Civil War. In addition to my history reading, I am taking a history class online through Upper Iowa University. I’ve decide that online education is not for me. I tend to be too much of a hermit in the best of times, and this online schooling is tying me even more to my apartment and my computer. The virtual world is nice for shy people in some ways, but in other ways t merely encourages further disassociation with the outside world.

Current listening: The Lounge Lizards, s/t

Shy

© 1988 Vin Colella and Brian Hutzell

Too shy, my heart's alone

Too shy to try again

I hide behind the love I've known

Now I'm too shy.  Remember…

When I was invincible and daring

Life was like a roller-coaster then

The love was new, alike the time we were sharing

The ride stopped, the lights went down; we started to pretend

Too shy, my heart's alone

Too shy to try again

I hide behind the love I've known

Now I'm too shy, but there's still hope

'Cause I know there's someone who will look me in the eye

So I can say how I feel, but I'm so shy

The wish in in my sight; my body quivers

I raise the bow but can't release the arrow

Though it isn't cold, I still shiver

I stand behind the open doors, but they might as well be closed

Too shy, my heart's alone

Too shy to try again

I hide behind the love I've known

Now I'm too shy, but there's still hope

'Cause I know there's someone who will look me in the eye

So I can say how I feel, but I'm so shy

Too shy, my heart's alone

Too shy to try again

I hide behind the love I've known

Now I'm too shy, but there's still hope

“December Blues 2”

Brian Hutzell

from MMXIII Variations

"Till I Was Gone"

I don’t think this was the best song Vin and I wrote together, but it’s the best recording we made. If I had to pick which is more important, the song or the recording, I would say the song is far more important. So what’s the best song we wrote as a team? I’m not sure. “Teila?” “Love of Mine?” “Innocence?”

"Till I Was Gone" on YouTube

Till I Was Gone

© 1988 Brian Hutzell and Vin Colella

There, not looking at me

What do I care; I'm better off free

She let her hair grow long

I always begged her to

But she never did till I was gone

No she never did till I was gone

There, standing in the sea

And in the air: the smell of debris

Who knows what's going on?

Who'll take the blame?

Broken promises, and now they're gone

Broken promises, and now they're gone

Ooo, na na na

Dat'n dat'n dada

It's too late

Ooo, na na na

Dat'n dat'n dada

It can't wait

We live in fear

Of what we joked about when it appeared

Now we sing our rock-a-byes

To all those who've died

But we never cared till they were gone

No we never cared till they were gone

Ooo, na na na

Dat'n dat'n dada

It's too late

Ooo, na na na

Dat'n dat'n dada

It can't wait

Now it's down to the eleventh hour

We face the fire--feel the heat

Heads in a sack of flour

The laughs we desired left us nothing to eat

Ignorance of the consequences fed our craving to devour

Intended paradise backfired like the apple fallen from the tree

Funny how we all thought it would be so safe and sound, so carefree

We took it all, and more then we'd ever need

All the while to blind to see

That all the way to the Promised Land

Is a history filled with misled plans

Looking back won't take us there

Gotta look ahead, and this time beware...

"Vinnie got a record deal"

Brian Hutzell

"Chicago Bungalow"

I’m not sure which of us proposed working together as a songwriting team, but after the band JEREMIAH broke apart, Vin and I teamed up. After our first evening of collaborating, we had a fragment or two written, and I took that fragment and wrote three different songs around it. Thus the first Vin & Brian copyright belongs to those three songs as “Theme and Variations.” This is one of them. The one that finally got recorded is “New Life.” The third is “Is Anybody Looking?” (Awkwardness: when the last word in a sentence before a song title is the first word of the song title, as here witnessed with my double “is.” Ironically, I was just reading about this very thing in Nick Hornby’s Songbook.)

I was 19 when I joined JEREMIAH in early 1984. For a while, it really looked like we were going to go places. I was sure I would be a big star by age 22! But then it all fell apart. Today, many years later, I am still plugging away as a journeyman musician. It’s not a job of which to be ashamed, but it’s a far cry from the fame and fortune I once imagined. That could still happen, of course, but in the meantime, I struggle to stay above the murky waters of depression and frustration that threaten to drag me down. I suppose a more sensible person would have long ago abandoned the idea of musical success, but the dream refuses to die in me. I carry on, this wayward son.

Chicago Bungalow

© 1987 Vin Colella and Brian Hutzell

Relaxed and resigned

My opening lines

Spoken with heartfelt eloquence

Polished and shined

Especially designed to influence

I want you to know that I’m going home

To my Chicago bungalow

You’re welcome to come

I think it’d be fun

Get ready to go

My place is open to you

Home base -- it’s safe and secure

I’d like to lead you to my Chicago bungalow

Short term: a romantic dare

Long term: a family affair

Picture a future in my Chicago bungalow

If we settle down by promise I’m bound

To be a loyal husband

I will behave

Encouraged to save our mutual funds

Domestically trained, I’ll never complain

When it’s my turn to do the chores

I’ll smile as I work, with never a word about being bored

My place is open to you

Home base -- it’s safe and secure

I’d like to lead you to my Chicago bungalow

Short term: a romantic dare

Long term: a family affair

Picture a future in my Chicago bungalow

Do I seem to be rushing this thing?

If you’re unhappy with me I shall not tarry

Call it rash

But I’m ready to cash

My single life in and chance a cozy marriage

So now that we’ve met, you’ve heard what I’ve said

What is your first impression?

I could tell you more

My history’s yours for inspection

I’ve led a clean life, got nothing to hide

Have confidence in me

Please end the suspense

Just say, “Yes!”

And accept my ring

My place is open to you

Home base -- it’s safe and secure

I’d like to lead you to my Chicago bungalow

Short term: a romantic dare

Long term: a family affair

Picture a future in my Chicago bungalow

"Blue Rhapsody"

Vin Colella and I met in the band JEREMIAH, and continued our collaboration after that band broke up. We called ourselves Kidd, but never used that name professionally. In fact, we never performed live at all as a duo, but we wrote and recorded several songs together. On a side note: family lore has it that I am a descendent of Captain Kidd on my dad’s side. Pirate jokes are a long-standing tradition in our family, as are gypsy jokes on account of my mom’s Bohemian ancestry.

Blue Rhapsody

© Vin Colella and Brian Hutzell

I remember the time you said you were mine

I still see the shine in your eyes

And if we can't be one, then we two might succumb

To the rains of the love left behind

I guess I should have known--it's always me

No matter where I roam, you're all I see

Time is draggin' on; it won't let me be

Until I end my song: Blue Rhapsody

I don't know how I never doubted

You'd always come 'round to tell me about it

But if you always knew how I felt about you,

Then our hearts could be true even now

I guess I should have known--it's always me

No matter where I roam, you're all I see

Time is draggin' on; it won't let me be

Until I end my song: Blue Rhapsody

If only time had waited for you and me

Like a scene from a fairy tale

There we could be

But if you always knew how I felt about you,

Then our hearts could be true even now

I guess I should have known--it's always me

No matter where I roam, you're all I see

Time is draggin' on; it won't let me be

Until I end my song: Blue Rhapsody